#UCBerkeley floor 7 takes SF and goes shopping/tourist sightseeing 😊 ❤️missing some people though :(
this guy was watching the vmas with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that
he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of feminism and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting women do what they want without being judged for it” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone a feminist” it’s precious
Okay idk if I’m bipolar or something BUTTTT today was totally the opposite of yesterday and I’m so happy now that all those sad feelings I had yesterday are gone.
Long story short, I finally decided to stay with my own dorm and floor mates towards the end of the day and we actually bonded, and everything was just AMAZINGG. I realized that they ARE ALL SO CHILL and that it wasn’t them but rather it was me who was the problem. I was so caught up in thinking that they were awkward and antisocial that I didn’t even give them a chance and just left them to join my friends in the other room and that during that time, everyone WAS bonding in my dorm, except of course… I wasn’t there because of my own ignorance. And yeah I realized that I’m actually a lot happier with my own floor mates because honestly they’re amazing people and definitely ALOT more like me (Except for my roommate LOL but he’s still super chill) like Even though I went out to have brunch and a BBQ with my friends from the other dorm, the whole time I was with them, I still felt the odd one out. Everyone was with their roommates and I was like the awkward third wheel… But then ofcourse towards the end of the night when I returned to my dorm to change for Greek night, I decided to go with my floor instead and honestly it was so nice. We ended up going with my whole floor/friends to frat houses and eventually we came back and bonded more over “Never have I ever, truth and dare, cards against humanity” etc. Now were heading off to bed at 4 am, and we’ve even made plans to go grab brunch tomorrow morning at 10-10:30. People are already saying they’ll wake each other up and stuff and it’s honestly such a different feeling from yesterday, I love it.
Only downside, is that my roommate still decides to hang out with mainly his Indian friends from Delhi… Like while we all bonded together over games/just talking, he decided to play poker with his friends at the lounge table next to us. :( idk that part sucks bc he’s so chill but he’s literally only with those same 3-5 Indian people :( hopefully well like all talk even more as a floor/dorm but yeah, had a blast and it was totally nice/fun night. Polar opposite of yesterday :) I love it
It’s 4 am here at Cal and I don’t know why but I’m so sad and lonely that I’m about to like cry. I miss my family. I miss my home. I miss my shower. I miss my bed. And I especially miss my friends D; like idk if it’s because I spent my day with the wrong type of people (who were all nice but just not “for me”) or if it’s just genuine homesickness but Whatever it is, it sucks ass. I literally just want to transfer back to NY now to be with friends and family. It’s so bad D;
EDIT: Is it bad that I think a major cause of this is my roommate? That because I had such an AMAZING orientation roommate, I had such high standards for my actual roommate and now everything’s just not met :( like he’s nice and all but totally not my personality type. Were like polar ends of the spectrum and idk I just don’t feel as excited being around him or the friends he brings over who speak Hindi 80% of the time while I’m in the room. We literally have nothing we can actually relate on aside from the fact that he smokes and I don’t care if he smokes. Literally all his friends talks about is smoking and while I don’t care about it and I’m happy for the invite, I don’t want that to be the only reason we talk D; and omg my floormates aswell… I ended up leaving them because they wouldn’t talk…. As a result I ended up going to a frat party with a different dorms floormates instead which was amazing but now looking back, it only makes me sadder that they’re NOT MY floormates and that thy already have such a strong camaraderie and I’m like the odd one out. despite there welcoming embrace, I know I’m still NOT even part of their dorm let alone their floor… which was SO NICE btw. Like I’m so jealous, sad, lonely, and pissed. ugh sorry for this rant but I’m just sad. And idk what else to do at 4 in the morning now :(
public service announcement